Chapter 46: The Other Shoe Drops

During a virtual call this morning, I gave notice to the President of the company I’m currently working for that I can’t do this job anymore and I need to leave…and oh by the way, sooner rather than later preferred.  No points to me for somewhat legendary timing.  I got the words out about three hours before he and I were scheduled to host a major event.  (Fortunately, I was able to keep my game face on for that.)

I didn’t sleep much last night as I kept thinking about how the conversation would go, since this isn’t a run-of-the-mill resignation. I’ve been working at this company for nearly a year; and I was brought on with the specific intent of achieving some long-term plans.  As a result, there has been a lot of investment in my development.  And now – poof – that’s just all going to disappear.

I don’t feel good about letting anyone down or disappointing anybody.  And I know that this isn’t a matter of me leaving to go to a rival firm or to take everything I’ve learned and put it to competing use on my own.  However, it still doesn’t feel awesome.  But – I only have one mom.  And now that my decision has been communicated and confirmed, I honestly feel so much relief.

To be clear, I have a very uncertain road ahead of me.  First of all, there’s the teeny tiny detail of me still figuring out what exactly I’m going to do for work as a lone wolf.  Then I’m going to have to actually go out and find clients to keep money coming in so I don’t unintentionally reduce our family down to a single income.  But I know I’m doing the right thing.  Now that I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I can’t deny it – mom’s situation is deteriorating.  From what I have been able to read, it’s impossible to predict how quickly things will change.  And I just can’t, in good conscience, leave dad to manage everything on his own – especially with my sister living so far away.

So – here we go, the first day of the rest of my life is going to be…soon…