Chapter 16: Career Conundrum
July 2023
I bought mom a daytimer last month (it’s not an easy task to try and find day planners half way through the year, by the way!) Every Sunday when she and dad come over for dinner, we make a plan for the week. Right now, I’m filling it in because mom is not too impressed with this whole idea of having a planner. But, she is tolerating me providing some directions around things to do every day, certain people she might want to try to reach out to each week, and other suggestions of how to fill her weeks. I’m also encouraging her to make notes on particularly interesting things that happen or events she goes to with dad – just to see if she can remember them when I ask her about them on Sunday.
Sunday. The day before the work week…and the day that is starting to cause me the most stress. I know Mild Cognitive Impairment won’t necessarily lead to anything more serious, but it’s starting to become a bit more obvious that mom is struggling. That’s hard to watch.
At least that stupid Home Care referral amounted to nothing. The lady made an assessment in about 90 seconds that mom doesn’t need help. (What we’ve been trying to tell you!!) But we have a phone number…in case things change..
And now I am starting to stress about work. Or should I say, my entire career.
For nearly 20 years, I have been part of the Alberta Public Service. Well – let’s be honest. For nearly 20 years, I have been part of the defined benefits pension plan for provincial employees. Given my age, this is a much more prominent consideration than it would have been when I was still in my 20s.
Within the system, I am an Executive Director, and I’ve been in my current role for nearly six years – the longest amount of time I’ve ever been in a single position since I joined the service! All this to say, I know this job pretty well at this point. While the formal learning curve may be over, when you’re leading just over 200 people in a unionized environment in a post-COVID context, no two days are ever the same…and there’s certainly no shortage of things to get done. However, I am at sufficient level of job comfort that I approached my boss shortly after mom’s diagnosis this spring, to see if I could reduce my status from being a full-time employee to a “0.8” level. Essentially, I’d give up 20% of my salary in exchange for only working 4 days a week, and then I’d have some confirmed, dedicated time to spend with mom and helping out dad.
It turns out that formally reducing an Executive Director position to anything less than full-time status is a non-starter, so I was given the option to take one day of vacation time each week to facilitate my being away on a more regular basis. We tried this for a bit – it didn’t work. In retrospect, I’m very glad that my request to be reduced in salary didn’t go forward. I wouldn’t have been too happy about working full time and only getting paid 80%.
So now I’m in a real situation. On the one hand, I do really enjoy my job and the team I work with. On the other, this is my mom. Do I really want to look back in another 20 years and say I’m glad I have a full pension, but I wasn’t there to help her mom and dad when I could have? I feel like some kind of big change is on the horizon…inevitably.
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