Chapter 2: The Talk That Changed Everything

One Sunday in July 2022

We have hosted my parents for Sunday dinner ever since my husband and I got engaged in 2009. It’s among my favourite of all of our family traditions.

Tonight though, something wasn’t quite right. After dinner, when my mom was helping the kids get ready for bed, my dad pulled me aside to tell me, “I think mom might be starting to lose her memory.”

Almost immediately and in the span of a few seconds, my mind started trying to rationalize this one piece of data. And I wasn’t having any of it. Nope, no way, absolutely not. Maybe dad is frustrated about something mom did earlier and now he’s exaggerating to make a point. Mom has a Master’s Degree in English Literature and used to teach university! She (and dad) are also the picture of perfect physical health for people in their 70s. She still does yoga almost every day. She has the gift of perfect pitch and can play anything on the piano after listening to anything that comes on the radio or tv even just once. She even learned how to speak Portuguese in her 40s so she would be able to participate in conversations more fully when she and dad make their regular trips to Portugal.

Dad was still talking. He was trying to give me some concrete examples of some recent incidents where mom seemed to become a bit – confused – while cooking. While cooking! Impossible – she’s the world’s greatest chef. There was no point in trying to listen. I couldn’t process this. I wouldn’t believe it.

Clearly, dad is the one with the issue. There is absolutely no way that anything is wrong with mom.

We finished getting the kids ready for bed, as usual; and then mom and dad left…as usual. I won’t believe it. But the damage has been done. It’s been a long time since I cried myself to sleep.

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