Chapter 20: The New Routine
January 2024
I made a pretty big move a few months ago – I left my full-time executive job right at my 20th anniversary of service with the organization and have gone back into the world of consulting. There were a lot of factors playing into this decision, but no doubt “time with mom” was a really big one.
So far, I think the resulting changes in my life are going ok and I certainly have a lot more time to check up on mom…and dad.
I remembered to a buy mom a proper daytimer before Christmas and I’ve even typed up a letter to her which I’ve stapled to the front. It contains some encouragement and a list of reminders of things we’ve been told she should do every day (like eat proper meals, drink water regularly, remember to take her medication each morning and evening, get some physical exercise, get some “brain exercise,” and do one social thing each day). Some days mom is really good about reading it and following instructions; some days she gets irritated at this…but I suppose that’s to be expected. I wouldn’t be too happy if I was her!
I’ve set calendar reminders to call mom every morning and every evening. In the morning, I make sure that she’s taken her morning medication and I try to encourage her to write a few sentences in her daytimer, starting with the date. Mom doesn’t always remember what day it is – I’m still trying to figure out if this is a matter of her losing her memory or if she is…I don’t know…checked out a little bit?
I worry that mom is experiencing geriatric depression. Everything seems to lead back to the pandemic. Ugh, COVID – a two-year period of time I think all of us on the planet would rather forget. I remember how terrified mom was of getting sick. With as large a social network as our family has, we know a few people in North America and around the world who died of complications arising from it. When that happens, a “global pandemic” suddenly seems a lot more local – and scary. I’ll have to look into that when I get a minute.
Anyway, government restrictions on social interactions aside, mom started to become so worried that she stopped going out or having people over. She also doesn’t talk that much anymore. She used to love getting or receiving phone calls. Now, she sees them as unnecessary distractions to her work (doing what, no one really knows…), and she hasn’t taken too kindly to the suggestion that she just phone people “to say hi.” Her response? If I have nothing to say, I have no reason to call. Sigh. Well, baby steps. She and dad still come over for dinner every Sunday so dad has been good about remembering to bring the daytimer with them each week and mom and I have some time to review it and fill in missing pieces. I hope she will maybe take some time to read through past entries and just…remember things that happen.
It’s like I’m mom’s teacher. It feels weird and awful and I don’t like it. But if we don’t get mom into a more regular routine, apparently the symptoms could get worse. The best we can hope for at this point is that she holds steady. Fingers crossed!
Questions or comments? Contact me!