Chapter 3: The Day After The Worst Day Ever

August 29, 2025

It has been a pretty crazy 36 hours when I think of how much we’ve ploughed through so far.

Early yesterday morning, we sent out a massive email notice to as many people as we could think of between mom, dad, and my/my sister’s contacts. This has resulted in the three of us – and mom’s siblings – receiving literally hundreds of calls and messages. No one believes it. Everyone is in shock. I’ve stopped picking up the phone and responding to texts. I am so grateful to know how much love and support surrounds us but I just can’t talk to anyone right now. There is too much work to do. And I don’t know what to say anyway.

Dad and I went to mom’s church today to arrange the funeral for next Friday. I tried to hold it together for dad’s sake but just couldn’t do it. That was a hard meeting. As much as this might be a nightmare, it’s actually happening…

We signed off on the paperwork to enable an autopsy. I’m glad that the hospital immediately agreed to our request – really wasn’t sure if that was going to be a battle. I hate the idea of mom being cut open, but we need answers. “Massive cardiac arrest” makes zero sense. If doctors missed something along the way, we need to know. Especially if that means my sister and I need to be aware for our own health down the road. I have no idea how long this part will take. I used to work for the provincial government department that houses the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner – if mom is being sent there, she’s going to be pretty low priority. If there have been a lot of overdoses or murders lately, we could be in for a wait. If we don’t have her remains back by next Friday, the Catholic Church may not allow us to proceed with a formal funeral. And that won’t do. I guess I’ll stress about that next week, I still have a long list of other things to get through in the meantime.

I prepared a formal obituary for the local newspaper. Good LORD I can’t believe how much it costs to run such a small notice. I realize that newspapers are a dying medium and I suppose they have to make their money somewhere but holy smokes. That bill felt really gross. I feel a bit better since I was able to get my dad and sister’s eyes on a much longer tribute that I published to a part of a website I already own. With lots of pictures. Makes me feel like I outsmarted the modern death industrial complex…I suppose that counts for something.

We also opened a file at the cemetery where we will eventually lay mom’s remains to rest. Finishing that part is simply going to have to wait until post-funeral. I think I’m tapped out for capacity right now.

Speaking of capacity – my cousin (mom’s Godson) is here. He is visiting Canada from Australia – even though we’ve all met up a few times during various family reunion trips to India, he hasn’t been here since he was a kid. Knowing that mom was starting to lose her memory, he planned this whole trip around spending time with her. He was so sweet during our videocall last week – he didn’t want to do anything touristry in Alberta, he just wanted to hang out with mom. He said he would leave the major sightseeing for the next time he came over. Well, so much for that. His plane landed at Edmonton airport a few hours after mom was pronounced dead. For real. I guess God was in an grumpy Old Testament mood yesterday. I mean, seriously – you couldn’t have waited another 24 hours to take her so she could have a last visit? New Testament Jesus would have been a bit kinder, methinks.

Well, bloody awful timing aside, I am so glad he is here. He’s always been the comedian of the family and he has been such a great distraction for the kids and for dad…and for me. He’s going to stay until shortly after the funeral. I hope we get a chance to do something fun while he’s here.

Something fun. Wonder when we’ll have time for that. Planning this funeral is quite the task. And that’s with having all of mom’s specific requests for readings and hymns already noted! I need to find sheet music. I need to find musicians. I need to find readers. I need to do a seating plan. I need to figure out how to design and print a Mass card. We need catering. We need a live stream for family around the world. I want to give mom a photo tribute. And a proper eulogy.

I might lose it if one more person tells me to “take care of myself.” I know people mean well but my God – what does that even mean? Besides, this funeral isn’t going to plan itself!

It’s going to be another long night. Well, who needs sleep. Keeping busy keeps the sadness away. I’ve tentatively scheduled my personal breakdown for next Saturday, the day after the funeral. I think I can make that work…

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