Chapter 24: Project Keep Busy
March 3, 2024
Today is dad’s 75th birthday! Originally, I had planned a surprise dinner with two of his good friends, but they ended up getting sick, so it was just us six as usual. Thought that counts, I hope? Anyway, after the dinner and cake festivities, I had a look at mom’s journal to see what I could use as conversation starters and memory prompts.
Good grief, mom really had quite the adventure with losing her glasses for a few weeks last month. Unfortunately, after all of the running around and retracing of her steps (which probably wasn’t a bad exercise, to be honest), turns out they had fallen behind her bedroom dresser. I told her not to feel too bad – after all, I thought I had forever lost a favourite watch…only to find it two years later behind my desk at work, and only in the course of an office move! Poor mom, though – based on how much she wrote about it, this situation clearly caused her a lot of stress. She’s aware that she is sometimes forgetting things, so having such a tangible reminder of the fact can’t be easy.
That said, I suppose chasing after lost glasses for two weeks is one way for mom to stay busy! Keeping mom occupied with tasks that give her some kind of meaning continues to be a bit of a challenge for dad and me – mostly because she just doesn’t seem to be interested in much. Which is so unlike her…
Perhaps ironically, Dad and I are trying to convince mom to give up her job as a lunchroom supervisor at the elementary school which is walking distance from their house. Mom first took up this position several years ago at my kids’ school. It was nice for her to be able to see the kids every day (and for me to regularly benefit from mom and the teachers’ insights on which kids were well behaved and which ones might be trouble…ha). But after COVID, mom decided that she really didn’t want to drive unless absolutely necessary and so she moved to the school close to her house. Now, to be fair, mom has always hated driving – especially in winter or at night (which is basically Edmonton 50% of the time!)
However, while it’s good for mom to have this job as a sense of purpose, it seems like her extreme dedication to this role has started to prevent her from doing anything else. Even stranger, she talks about needing to keep this “job” to contribute income to the family, and that the household will be in trouble if she stops. Not sure what has caused this frame of mind, but it’s becoming a bit of an issue. With mom now steadily “busy” between about 11:15am and 1:00pm between Monday and Friday, she is convinced that she can’t or shouldn’t do anything before she goes to school…and that it’s too late to start anything when she gets back. Dad and my efforts to get her to go for walks or just coffee visits with friends have been unsuccessful so far…and obviously going for lunch is totally out of the question. So other than the time she goes to school, it really seems like she is…aimless. Again, not an adjective that fits mom at all!
At least on Tuesday mornings, she is now participating in a music group at the seniors’ centre near the house. That seems to perk her up a little each week. Dad and I continue to look at other options for clubs or groups mom can join to maybe get a bit more excited about life again – especially in the winter…which again, in Edmonton, sometimes seems to last forever.
I’ve also suggested that mom perhaps look at going to the other elementary school near her house (which is actually even closer than the one where she does lunchroom supervision) to serve as a volunteer reader with the little kids just learning to read. My mother in law has been doing that for years and loves it. Mom would be awesome at that! She promised that she will give the school a call and speak to the principal about it this week. Let’s see where that goes.
Questions or comments? Contact me!