Chapter 32: Small Victory Accomplished!
April 16, 2024
Well, if the journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step…
Last month, I talked mom and dad into letting me get our family friend, who is a real estate agent, to set up a search for new listings in seniors’ condo complexes in town. And preferably closer to our place.
Over the weekend, one unit showed up in my alerts. It’s a two-bedroom apartment-style condo with covered parking. Right away, that’s going to be an absolute no. BUT, the complex also has a number of individually detached single-floor “house” units, so mom and dad were…not completely opposed…to setting up a showing. At least it would give us a chance to take a look around the grounds, which appear to be huge.
That was a pretty big win, so away we went earlier this morning. Sadly, it felt kind of short-lived. Certainly, it was nice to have a look at the main apartment-style complex and take a peek at where the housing-style units were located. But holy moly, as excitable as I get about the thought of mom and dad moving out of their house, I got a little depressed thinking about them ever living in a place like this. This place is for old people! Mom and dad aren’t old.
Sigh. I guess this is the challenge. You can be resolute in your decision to stay in your own house, and everything is fine for a while. But then, it eventually becomes a hazard with its stairs, and a driveway and/or sidewalk that is just begging for someone to slip on it and be the cause of broken bones in a fall – or worse. And so, your family just sits around and waits for some almost inevitable tragedy to make its appearance, forcing a bunch of decisions – sometimes without consultation with you – in a total panic without the luxury of consideration for long-term desire, and more often than not, resulting in resentment. Or you can move into a smaller place where you reduce those hazards but also have absolutely zero additional supports. Or…you can move into a place like this. With its friendly residents and staff, and loads of activities, and common areas…and just feel…like that’s it. You’ve now officially crossed over into old people territory.
The showing itself was pretty short – I think we were on the premises for a solid 15 seconds before both mom and dad each gave me a look that said “Absolutely not!” But. I got them to start thinking about options.
Mom has been ready to give up the house and move into a condo-style place for nearly 10 years. Dad on the other hand…
Still. Thinking about the long-term viability of mom and dad staying in their house is now a semi-regular point of discussion with dad. Mom is fine right now when it comes to mobility and navigation and all that jazz, but more than likely…whatever she’s battling is going to get worse. And then what?
All the possibilities are making my head hurt. Maybe I should just take the small victory of getting them out to look at a place that isn’t their house and call it a night. This isn’t going to be a problem that we will solve in one go for sure!
Questions or comments? Contact me!