Chapter 9: Sad Family Outing

September 1, 2025

My dad and cousin came over for brunch today. It’s Labour Day – and the final day of summer vacation before the kids start Junior High School tomorrow!

In our effort to try and give my cousin a proper vacation experience while he’s in Edmonton, we decided that we would take the High Level Streetcar across to Old Strathcona and have a bit of a wander around. Ice cream sounds like a pretty good idea too!

I was so sure that mom and dad had done this trip with the kids before. My husband and I certainly took them on this attraction several times, starting when they were very small. I’m positive that we have even done the trip with my husband’s parents – before his dad suffered a stroke. So, it was kind of hard to hear dad say that he had never been on the Streetcar before. I guess mom never had an opportunity to do it, either – and that makes me sad. Because now she never can…

The afternoon was pretty enjoyable – the weather was nice for walking around, everyone got their ice cream, and we even had a chance to visit the Streetcar museum at the end of the tracks where a very enthusiastic and helpful volunteer gave us a lot of information about the history of the system in Edmonton. It just feels all off, though. We take pictures…but it’s hard to call them family pictures anymore. Mom isn’t in them.

Strangely, I’m starting to get a lot more comfortable with the idea of the urn in our house. When I get her back, I will place her on my office desk, right next to my computer. It’s funny how things change in life. My entire childhood, I was terrified of anything that had anything to do with dead people. In fact, I don’t think I gave up the habit of holding my breath when passing a cemetery until I was well into my 20s! (Someone in elementary school had said once that it’s disrespectful to breathe when you pass a cemetery. Of all of the things kids say, I’m not sure why that particular “teaching” stuck with me as strongly as it did….) I absolutely hate open caskets to this day – the people never actually look like who they were, but some kind of Madame Tussauds statue gone horribly wrong. People are always orange…why are they orange?

All this to say that if you had ever suggested to me that a day would come when I would even consider having the remains of my own beloved mother stay in my house, I would have said you were out of your mind. Yet, here we are. I have gotten into the practice of meditation before bed now – perhaps I will sit with mom and hold on to her very tightly when I do this. The fact that I’m doing meditation is also hilarious to me. Never in a million years did I ever imagine I would do anything as hippie-weird as that. I can’t say it’s helping me to sleep…but quite frankly, I don’t think a whole box of sleeping pills would help with my sleep now. What’s even more hilarious is the fact that I was introduced to meditation through my dad. MY DAD! He thought I was worrying about mom too much and stressing out over nothing last year. Let me tell you how insane it is that an older East Indian man told me I needed to reduce my stress levels and then told me to start meditating. Good grief. Can there be any more proof that the world has gone completely nuts?

Mom arriving here soon though, is going to have to be a temporary measure only. At some point, we’re going to have to figure out what we’re going to do on a more permanent basis. But that is not an arrangement I can ever bear to think about right now. There is just too much else to do. My God, there is a lot of work to do when someone dies. How does anyone manage this?

Questions or comments? Contact me!